k.p.fen [ The Crack Between Us ]

i give up on trying to hold 

onto the departing       or the departed

the fractured     the don’t-put-me-back-together

as fragments of my past deliberate leaving

like old friends shuffling in front of a familiar bar 

silence slicing through every sentence

their hands slowly slipping off common threads

before they know it       the gap broadens 

and neither one can leap far enough to reach the other

but they continue to text every six months

wish the other a happy birthday

a Merry Christmas        a Happy New Year 

because keeping is easier than starting over 

           is easier than letting go

i trace a sidewalk crack with my foot

thinking of the days we used to avoid them like lava

sometimes it’s tree roots     sometimes it’s unsettled ground

but the crack always appears eventually

and we almost always resort to ripping it all apart

k.p.fen (she/her) is a Filipina-American who resides in New Jersey with her loving husband and cat. She tries not to define herself by occupation or her mental illness, but recognizes they continue to shape her life.  Her poems appear or are forthcoming in The Post Grad Journal, Inklette Magazine, Vagabond City, Rigorous Magazine, In Her Space Journal, and New Note Poetry.  You can find her reading at open mics throughout the state and on Instagram at @inkdroplets.